


so hard to keep going

by radiowaltz



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Stress, Unhappiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22868395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowaltz/pseuds/radiowaltz
Summary: It's been a difficult three years. Rami spirals as he tries to cope. Joe tries to help.
Relationships: Rami Malek/Joe Mazzello
Kudos: 14





	so hard to keep going

It’s been a difficult three years. At first Joe thought reuniting with Rami would be the highlight of 2017 and 2018. It was, but not everything went smoothly. 

Filming BoRhap turned into a mess. There were director problems and then some publicity problems. Nothing seemed to go right. But Joe stood by Rami because he believed in him. Rami has always been one of his best friends.

They had some good times in between all the bad. They went to Paris. They went to Japan. They hung out in New York and LA. They got to party together during awards season.

Joe’s known Rami for over a decade. He’s one of the few people who can see the cracks in Rami’s facade. Rami is good at pretending everything is all right. He never wants to worry people, but Joe knows the new level of fame he’s experiencing isn’t easy on him.

He first saw it during awards season. At first he thought it was the stress of having to be “on” day after day. Of having to pretend to be dating someone he was only friends with.

But when everything continued after the awards season, Joe began to worry. 

“Come to Venice,” Rami begged when Joe met him in London to start his vacation.

“You sure?” Joe asked. He knew Rami had some publicity to do there. But he didn’t want to step on any toes by showing up.

“Yes, I need someone there with me.”

Joe has never heard Rami sound so sad and lost. Not even after he fled to Argentina once The Pacific was done. 

So Joe goes to Venice. The publicity Rami was asked to do is painful to watch. Rami is so clearly unhappy. But that’s not the worst part, Joe discovers.

What he discovers is that Rami has been indulging in certain drugs to keep himself going. Joe doesn’t need to ask what he’s been taking. One look at him is enough to know. He knows Rami sometimes takes things to help his medication. But this is more than that.

“Oh, Rami, why?” Joe asks in despair.

“It’s only sometimes. When it all gets too much,” he says.

Joe tries to get Rami to talk about it. To get some help. To stop it. But over the months, Rami ignores him and Joe is helpless to do anything but watch.

He tries to talk to Sami. 

“Rami won’t talk to me. I haven’t spoken to him in months,” he says.

That comes at a shock to Joe. Sami and Rami have always been so close. Have talked every single day. Have rarely had arguments.

“I told him he needs to get away from people who were bad influences, but he didn’t want to hear it.”

It goes on like that for months. Joe hangs out with Rami and each time, Rami looks tired and unhappy.

“You don’t have to do all this publicity. You don’t have to keep giving these interviews,” Joe says.

He cringes whenever he watches or reads an interview where Rami seems distant and not at all like himself. He misses his friend.

“I promised,” Rami replies. It’s always his answer. He promised. He’s obligated. It’s helping.

“It’s not helping,” Joe says.

“I’ve been told it is.”

Joe knows who is telling Rami that it’s helping. It’s the same people who benefit from endless paparazzi pictures. The same people who benefit whenever Rami has to talk about certain things in an interview. Whenever he has a tabloid article written about him.

Joe tries to let it go. He parties with Rami at the Oscars were he seems slightly better. He’s back to his old self. Happy and fun as he mingles with other stars.

But a few weeks later, Joe sees Rami out doing publicity and hears some concerning rumors about Rami’s use of certain substances.

Before he can decide what to do, he gets a call from Rami. Rami sounds shaky and scared and upset on the other end of the phone.

“Joey, I need your help.”

Joe rushes over to Rami’s apartment with his heart racing. He pounds on the door, his heart in his throat as he hopes everything is fine. 

Rami is red eyed and miserable when he opens the door.

“What’s wrong?” Joe asks.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Rami says.

He almost slumps onto the couch and he seems so defeated. “I keep getting forced to extend my contracts and I keep having to pretend to be something I’m not. I’m tired and I want it to end.”

Joe hugs Rami and squeezes him tight. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I keep indulging more to get away from it all. It’s the only way I can deal.”

Joe feels Rami start to cry and his heart about breaks. 

“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry I pushed Sami away. I can’t do this anymore.”

Joe rubs Rami’s back. “We’ll fix this. I promise we will.”

“You won’t leave me? You’ll wait for me?” Rami asks. 

“I’ll help you through all of this. We’ll figure it out together.”

Joe is willing to fight anyone who tries to remove him from Rami. He’ll do anything for Rami, especially now when Rami needs him the most.

“I’ll always be here for you, Rami.”


End file.
